Your first tour can be really exciting, but sometimes your excitement can get the best of you and your memory. While it’s an excellent opportunity to make a name for yourselves, it can also break you if you aren’t properly prepared. So, as a public service, we’ve compiled a list of the top ten essentials to remember to bring on tour, so you can have a stress-free (almost) experience and make a good impression for fans and industry folk alike!
1. YOUR GEAR
Let’s start with the obvious. If you show up to your gig without your gear, you’ll look pretty goofy. Unless you’re an a cappella group… Then you always look goofy.
2. MERCHANDISE
It’s important for new fans to have something of yours to take home. A CD, T-shirt, even a free postcard with your band photo and info on it. People might love you when they hear you, but if they don’t have something to take home with them, they’ll forget you quicker than your lead singer forgets words to a song.
3. A PAIR OF SKINNY JEANS (per band member)
How else will people know you’re a band when you’re in line at A&W?
4. SNACKS
The usual classics will do. Chips, peanuts, licorice, M&Ms, Beef Jerky, and a bucket of banana chunks and fish heads in case your drummer breaks out of his cage and starts throwing barrels at people.
5. A SPARE TRANSMISSION
Old vans may look cool… But standing around on the side of the highway with the hood open and your thumbs in the air, doesn’t. Best to have an extra transmission for emergencies. You can purchase one in the automotive section of your local Walmart, or get one for free from the front under section of the other band’s van during their sound check.
6. MULTIPLE FLASHLIGHTS
This serves two purposes; First, they’ll come in very handy when you’re looking for cables backstage when the house lights are down. Also, guitarists crave the spotlight. They get very depressed and moody when they aren’t in it. With 24-hour gaps between sets, guitarist can start to feel anxious and attention-starved. Make sure each bandmate has a flashlight for when your guitarist starts getting real pissy. Shining the flashlight directly at him will artificially satisfy the endless urge to be the center of attention.
7. BOX OF TISSUES
For when your lead singer inevitably starts crying because he’s not getting as much attention as your guitarist
8. YOUR BASS PLAYER
Often under appreciated and unnoticed, bass players are commonly forgotten in gas station bathrooms, drugstore checkout lines, hotel rooms, or even at home. According to recent studies, 87% of bass players go missing on tour annually. An easy way to solve this is to keep your bass player on a leash when you go out in public, and be sure to tie him to a bike rack before going in the store (Most places have animal cruelty laws that won’t allow you to leave your bass player unattended in the van anymore) Another option is to get a large Italian bass player… You’ll know right away that he’s missing when things get quiet all of a sudden.
9. ROSETTA STONE – HOW TO SPEAK NORWEGIAN
Make sure this is constantly playing through your van speakers until each member is fluent. When you get pulled over for speeding to your next gig, only answer the officer in flawless Norwegian with the occasional “no English!” thrown in. Cops are much less likely to write you a ticket if they have to fight through a language barrier just to explain your traffic violation. Værsågod!
10. JUSTIN BIEBER POSTERS
In case you ever run out of toilet paper.
