Your Weekend Horoscopes… Country-fied!

Aries Mar 21 – Apr 19

Interactions with famous people might take place this weekend. This Friday is kind of a strange day where everyone seems to have mud on their boots but it’s not raining. Stick to your own tractor path and your tires will stay clean.

Taurus Apr 20 – May 20

Your mind is sharp and you fish like a pro, making you readily receptive to all moonshine offerings that come upon you. It’s best, I reckon, to take a few sips but keep your manners and stay alert. A sudden interaction with a lost cattle may occur this afternoon.

Gemini May 21 – June 20

After what you have learned recently, you may want to wear cowboy boots no matter what the occasion. External or internal pressures may force you to reevaluate this, but don’t take nothin’ from no one.

Cancer June 21 – July 22

Hey, good lookin’! Your sense of what is beautiful may change somewhat today, leading you out to a stack of hay barrels in deep thought. Bring your cooler and a few beers—you may be there for a while.

Leo July 23 – Aug 22

There are promises of a long day of horseback riding ahead. You may be the first one out to the rooster’s nest at the noon break today. This could mean a running area on top of the building where you work, so wear your cowboy boots.

Virgo Aug 23 – Sept 22

You can be pensive and down to earth. This is beneficial for life in the country today. Your ability to perceive the thoughts and feelings of your horses may bring you unexpected rewards, especially when it comes to cleaning up the paddock.

Libra Sept 23 – Oct 22 

This will be a great week for you! Large groups are your thang and you’re about to be surrounded by many fine ladies and gents. Love is in the air! Your soulmate is coming for you and they’ll be wearing a cowboy hat!

Scorpio oct 23 – Nov 21

Your enthusiasm for country music is high and your creative juices are flowing–ready to be applied to your current roster of dance moves. If you give your best effort now, considerable success may follow and you could unconsciously help a close friend tighten up their twang through your efforts.

Sagittarius Mar 21 – Apr 19

This is a time when clear thinking and communication with the girl next door is important. There could be hesitation in trying to make yourself clear but you really want to know how she gets those curls in her hair just right.

Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19

Stand by your guns and do not be afraid to get some mud on your tires. Your inner strength may be tested but you’ll soon find your personal heaven behind the wheel of a pickup truck. Spending time with your ol’ lady is advisable soon, and make sure you open up.

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18

You are very popular with the barn dogs. You also spend a great deal of time with the locals in this small town because there are several of you who like to kick the dust in your big backyard. Switch it up a little and play some chicken.

Pisces Feb 19 – March 20

You may find yourself hanging out with baby goats a lot this weekend, which is ok with you because you like them more than people. Enjoy an entire rack of ribs with a whole basket of biscuits today—you deserve it.